Wigfest

Sorry for the complete lack of postings lately – I’ve been home for two weeks…and apparently the Hampton Inn is my muse. But I did have SOME blog-worthy festivities lately…like WIGFEST. I don’t know what I was expecting when I accepted the invite – but they call it “Wigfest” for a reason.

After a spin through our inventory of fun wigs, Rita and I decided to borrow our toups from prior year’s attendees. We ended up with one mullet and one curly blonde trampy thing.

Now – I know you figured me for the mullet – but that would have been so Maeve circa 1989 [well – actually…circa 1989 to 1994…otherwise known as the IU years]. Pictures of me in a mullet aren’t exactly uncommon – so I thought I would take the trashy blonde wig instead. But here’s the problem – your costume was supposed to match the wig you’re wearing. Now…my wardrobe comes in all manner of redneck, but seems to have a genuine dearth of slutty. Honest-to-god, Rita walked right up to my closet and found just the right shade of flannel to borrow, but when it came to the Kate Hudson ‘do, there was nary a spaghetti strap nor camisole to be found. (shocker, I know)

As an alternative, I threw that curly blonde wig back in homely, frizzed-out pony-tail…. buttoned a cardigan to the top….and went dressed as a librarian.

Which means that I am the ONLY person I know who can take an opportunity for anonymous debauchery and instead channel my inner Aunt Gladys. If you look at pictures from the evening – my friend Bettyann looks like Foxxy Brown…and I look like Sam Adams. (Actually, any of the founding fathers is applicable.) It was as IF I took a slutty blonde wig and mullet-ized it. And depending on the point in the evening in which the picture was taken – I either had a forehead like Tim Geithner or no forehead at all because the Wig. Was. A. Little. Mobile.

Which only made it WORSE when I had to run in to pick up the pizza on the way to Foxxy Brown’s house.

I should have gone with my initial instinct and dressed as a drag queen.