Molly's check-up

I hate taking Molly to the vet out here because I always feel like they are trying to “upsell” me into some platinum-like procedure for Molly Magoo. [C’mon guys, she eats poop. Of course her stomach is going to be upset from time to time – no need for that MRI.] Not that Molly doesn’t deserve it, of course, but this IS the puppy that attempted suicide on at least two occasions. [Who knew that rat poison was so downright yummy to dogs?] For much of her life [the Tennessee years], platinum health care meant access to a stomach pump after she had consumed whatever toxin her mother had inadvertently left lying around. [Mother of the Year]

But I try to make sure she at least stays healthy. So I found myself at the vet last week getting her little back-side blemish checked out. First of all, let me just report that Magoo is down to a very svelte 25.3 lbs. [if this adult calorie dog food continues to work like this..I may give it a try].

Imagine my surprise when the entire check-up cost only $36 [the blemish-rating was “harmless”]. However…..the vet DID recommend that we do “some serious dental work on this cute little girl.” [Apparently, they noticed the breath too.] And by serious, they mean "would you like to hear about our finance plans." Aye yi yi. For the money involved, I keep wondering if she’s going to end up with a gold grill when they bring her back to me after “surgery”. [Maybe I can customize the grill to say “grrr” when she opens her mouth]. I'm all for pearly whites...but do they have to be made of real pearls?

Well…I gotta run so I can work on competitively bidding my dog’s health care.