Fired!

Let’s be clear about who wears the pants in this pantsuit-wearing family…it’s Julieta, the cleaning lady/dog sitter/military junta. After a somewhat bumpy start [see post  >> http://savemethecall.blogspot.com/2008/11/that-cleaning-lady.html ], we have settled into a nice little routine around here that involves Julieta’s near-residency and a small stipend from Molly’s trust fund. Unfortunately, however, the apple cart went flying yesterday when we canceled our Thanksgiving “booking” for Julieta’s dog sitting [what?! It was two whole days notice!]

Knowing that last minute changes are about as popular as the pens I leave in my pocket on laundry day…I [of course] made RITA deliver the bad news [while I pretended to be trapped in my office on a conference call]. I guess Julieta stewed about it all day when not bouncing quarters off the bedding because as she was loudly and defiantly packing up, she apparently told Rita “I quit!” And while not explicitly clear, I don’t think she was just quitting the dog-sitting gig. I think we were getting fired from the whole package of bundled services.

You really want to see Rita freak? Present her with the hard reality of no one coming to clean up the mess I leave behind me. “Panic” is not too strong a word. I am completely oblivious to the Crisis in the Kitchen until Rita races into my office exclaiming “You’re the one who fixes these things…go talk to her!” ummmmm, okay honey, but I don’t really “fix” things as much as I capitulate – you got that, right?

So there I am on the side steps of the house, trying to talk some sense into Julieta and ensure that I don’t ever have to dust the wine room. It was not pretty. It was like every bad break-up fight you’ve ever had [Molly go inside, the grown-ups need to talk.] ….tears and shouting and hysterics [and that was just us] …every transgression that ever happened got trotted out…”I KNOW we canceled on you back in August and you’re right, we NEVER remember to replace the windex. How can we make it better? Can we just sit down and have a Family Meeting?” The neighbors probably thought we were crazy. [it didn’t help that Rita & I were still in our pajama’s at 2 o’clock in the afternoon – but hey, I work better in pj’s!] It was completely reminiscent of a Christopher Guest movie [I’m guessing I’m the Jane Lynch character].

Apparently, the key to negotiating with McC and Rita is to use broken English…cuz we folded like a cheap tent. “Okay, what if we pay you for the whole week ANYWAY? And you can still come over and spend an afternoon with…ummm “OUR” dog…and don’t even worry about doing the cleaning next week…take the week off. No?” Okay Julieta…I’m going to write down a number on this piece of paper…

I think in the end we are going to pay her extra to not come to our house, we will begin tidying the house before she arrives and we will…at least occasionally…refer to the dog as Molly Martinez.

But it’s fixed.