The Capitol

While in D.C., my absolute favorite tour was the Capitol building. This tour is geared toward getting the maximum number of people through “The Capitol Experience” in the shortest amount of time. Did you know that the number of people touring the Capitol each day exceeds the original population of the 13 colonies? Okay…I made that up. But my tour group (who was totally impressed with this little funfact) doesn’t have to know that.

They maximize the tour by having the world’s best microphone set-up ever. Because every tour guide is given about 2 square feet in which to give their spiel, the tour-ees [that’s us] wear these headphones that are tuned to a frequency for only our tour guide’s microphone – so we could hear our docent Patty and not the other 57 tour guides in the rotunda. The applications for this are ENDLESS. I see Anne Louise standing in front of a whole class of headphone-wearing freshmen..getting in their HEADS. I am pretty sure my mom will be sporting at least the walkie-talkie version for Operation Garage Sale.

The set-up was pretty sophisticated stuff, which is why I was so surprised when the kid behind me lost his before we even got to the first stop on the tour. [Surprised it wasn’t me, that is.] Honest to god, we pull up in front of a bust of Lincoln and some sheepish father has to interrupt the tour guide – “ummmm, we seem to have lost a headset here, can he stand up front?” Old Patty wasn’t happy…"we’ve only walked through ONE room. How do you lose something on your head in less than 20 yards?” [Turns out Patty didn’t particularly like children or crowds…so as a docent in the Capitol, she was livin’ the dream.]

However, if you are going to be a walking transmitter…you need to remember that We. Can. Hear. Every. Word. You. Say. Patty kept forgetting she was mic’d as we walked from one chamber to the next. “Hey Marge – yeah, I don’t think half of em speak a word of English in my group.” “STEVE-O! Meet ya at Hawk & Dove after work for a brewskie?” I just wanted to say “We’re right here Patty, and those of us who can speak English are planning to meet you at the Hawk and Dove.”