Friday, November 23, 2012

Gentle Rental



They say most accidents occur within 5 miles of home.  I respectfully request "they" revisit this statistic to ensure there isn’t a greater correlation with distance from a rental car counter.  My first 30 minutes of driving from any rental car location looks a lot like a driver’s ed flashback.  Never a great driver on a good day….rental cars seem to present an unseemly challenge to my Good Driver Discount [an unfamiliar car + unfamiliar roads + unacceptable radio station = utter disregard for double yellow lines]. 

That first several miles of driving generally involves me trying to refold a rental car map in a seat uncomfortably close to the windshield while looking for wherever the crap they put the trip odometer button.  I realize the responsible thing would be a full-blown rental-car review in the Avis parking lot.  But I’ll be honest….I spend 20% of my waking hours engaged in a giant work-schlep.   I don’t intend to delay my arrival at the Hampton Inn [du jour] by 1 extra minute for “new-car orientation”.

Instead, let’s just agree the following items should be in the same place on all cars [after all, I’m usually driving a Ford Focus for chrissakes…..how many style points can you get for ingenious placement of gadgetry when it’s a Ford Focus??].  Therefore, let’s come up with a dewey decimel system of car organization for the following items:
  • Side view mirror adjustor
  • Rear window defroster
  • Windshield wiper controls (and turning them on should always be “up”)

Notice anything in common with these important features…..yes…..they all affect VISIBILITY.  Those items that directly affect my view of traffic behind, beside and beneath me should NOT require a search party to locate. 

And while we’re at it….why must Every.  Single.  Car-Rental.  Radio be tuned to a rap station?  Do you know how hard it is to find a good country music station when you’re peering under the steering wheel for a side window adjuster?   [I do.]

I sure hope pilots don’t feel the same way when they climb into each new plane.

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