Hair today...

A frequent question during Corona is “what do you think will change permanently after Corona”. I fear the answer is my hair color.  

Of all my pandemic regrets, hair maintenance represents more than a few.  Why was I so focused on toilet paper and booze and not getting in for a last-minute cut and color??  And at a minimum, when proper preparation was out of reach, why did I not at least take a picture of my haircut to aid in the archaeological dig that is going to be required at the end of this to get back to my pre-quarantine coif?! 

When it comes to hair preparedness, I am much more Desantis than Dewine.  Tough words indeed.

If I were a hair stylist who is currently not able to work and make money, I would be getting all kinds of creative in planning my grand “every single person in this country needs a haircut right now” reopening.  Like even those annoying semi-annual long-haired clients will be looking for an appointment.  [To which I say to you long-hairers – back of the line!]  Stylists should figure out a way to accept bids for their first appointments so their income matches their client’s desperation.  Speaking for myself, I would be making up for my portion of lost income in order to get a haircut before we all get re-quarantined.  Or maybe they could do like Liberation Week 1 prices of $1,000 and each week it gets $200 cheaper until they get back to normal.  [Don’t judge me, I didn’t invent supply and demand!]

And not only is my hair becoming a mushrooming beehive, but I cannot believe the speed with which the grey is overtaking my head.  Does booze make your hair grow faster?  Asking for a friend.   Usually when I am late to book my monthly color appointment, I assume my height gives me a little leeway where only my fellow basketballers will notice.  But on Zoom, we are all the same height. It is getting increasingly difficult to aim the laptop camera in just such a way as to cut off enough my head to hide the two-tone hairscape.  Next step – eyebrow-aimed camera shots. 

Or more likely, I am just going to have to pick a day in about a week for my very last quarantine video share.  I’m going to go all Walter Cronkite to my co-workers with a dramatic video signoff until all this is over.  “From this point forward...I will only be a video-less voice.  So my video-self says good bye and good luck.”  I think my co-workers will appreciate the dramatic broadcast.  We don’t have enough of those these days.

Or maybe…just maybe…I will try to color my hair myself.  Which are likely to be the last words you hear form me just before I end up with a crew cut.  A crew cut and blog material for the entire month of May. 

p.s., someone get me an updated picture of Suze Orman so I can see if we are all truly in this together.