If it’s another Hampton Inn blog…Maeve must be on the road again. Greetings from Hattiesburg, MS. Home to Brett Favre and nothing else.
Is there a better symbol of mediocrity than the Hampton Inn? Their idea of an upgrade is the handicapped room. If it were a Brady, the Hampton Inn would be Jan [no slam against middle children, mind you].
Most Hampton Inn rooms now come with a microwave oven (that is roughly the size of Barbie’s first microwave) and a little dormer fridge. But get this…the microwave comes with a dial…it’s not even digital. I’m still looking for the “EZ Bake” logo on it. Of course, the fact that it could be “EZ Bake” and yet still meet 100% of my culinary needs surprises nobody. Hampton Inn’s newest “revenue enhancer” is selling groceries in the lobby. So I just paid $6 for a freakin’ lean cuisine. Since the microwave only cost them $20 at a yard sale, they are going to have a four-day ROI on this thing.
And then there are the HOT free breakfasts…what does it say that it has to GRADUATE to the McDonald’s $1.99 menu. I swear…the breakfast looks remarkably like that fake food you got with your childhood cardboard grocery store. The fried/steamed [“freamed”?] eggs are scarily picture perfect. And can I just make a small observation that Hampton Inn “Kitchen Hostess” is just one rung above Grade School Cafeteria worker in the Darwinian hierarchy of food service employment.
Today’s exercise in mediocrity? No hot water in the shower. I guess they used all the hot water in the egg steaming. And after negotiating with them for another room in which to shower they finally handed me a key and said “we THINK this room is empty.” Of course…there must not have been anyone in there or this would be an ENTIRELY different post.
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1 comment:
brilliant. but given your mood i thought surely that there might be a rather acerbic commentary on the lack of hotwater-but perhaps you are saving that for tomorrow!
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