American Gladiator

Is there still a TV writer’s strike on??? Because I just discovered that the newest installment of reality TV includes American Gladiator! Exactly who’s reality is this?!? And it’s not even on cable. NBC can’t fit the national political conventions into its primetime lineup, but it can sponsor a bunch of grown (and over-grown) men in spandex running around an adult-sized version of your 4th grade field day?

For those of you unfamiliar with the American Gladiator tv show (and based on its reflection on me… I hope that’s MOST of you) – the show consists of several earnest contestants trying to complete various buffoonish obstacle course events that go by the names “Eliminator” or “Travelator” or “Governator” [oh wait]…while their families look on proudly (?). And they must do this while being blocked & obstructed by the steroid-fueled likes of “Mayhem” and “Justice” and the rest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If you win, you are officially qualified to staff the “bouncy castle” at any four-year old’s birthday party.

The show also contains little cross-promotional tie-ins like…”Test your gladiator skills with our on-line challenge!” Seriously? Do you think you can pull this show’s demographic away from the “Jackass” website? Maybe we could use the “Gladiator on-line challenge” as a Trojan horse for some GED prep questions and actually do some good here???

This year’s incarnation of Balco’s American Gladiator is hosted by Laila Ali. Did someone sell their soul to the reality-tv gods? I mean…that woman owes someone her extra fifteen minutes. (Was she a star before her captivating American Gladiator turn or is hosting a juiced up version of the Village People the tantalizing reward for a dancing championship?)

The only thing more depressing than watching American Gladiator, was discovering that it is merely the lead-in for “America’s Got Talent” where Sharon Osbourne is the final arbiter of skill and performance.