Baggage claim

I think if we each had to identify our worst behavior…baggage claim would most likely be involved. Something about paying $25 to wait an extra 30 minutes for your bag brings out the WORST in people. And listen...I understand that SIX generations of your family came out to meet your plane…but do they ALL have to stand in front of me at the baggage carousel? I still believe this is where the “C” boarding passes exact their revenge.

The scene earlier this week at the Philly baggage carousel takes the cake. It probably didn’t help that the plane left at 6:30 in the morning…which basically requires you to set your alarm clock for the day before. By the time you get to baggage claim you have been up for 6 ½ hours and are suffering from caffeine-induced hallucinations. Then on top of that, you are flying to Philly…how happy can you be about THAT?? (I mean you probably have a Ben Franklin costume in your future).

So we are all at the roulette wheel of baggage claim, packed three deep, jostling for position and throwing elbows when out in the front there rose such a clatter…I averted my eyes in hopes it won’t matter. Away to the back I flew like a flash, pulled over my luggage and ignored the big crash. [I mentioned being pumped full of caffeine, right?]

And then this lady (and not even a big lady, mind you), suddenly wheels around in my general direction and at the top of her lungs shouts at this little old lady and her husband “OH, SO EVERYONE IS JUST GOING TO PUSH ON THE PREGNANT LADY. THAT’S GREAT.”

Well…what the HELL do you say to THAT??? “don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact”. At which point, Mrs. Gabor turns right around to me and in this little Hungarian accent says…"I am wust a wittle old wady, I do not poosh. We still wook for our bag” [My Hungarian accent sounds suspiciously like Bugs Bunny]. Of course, all I could think of is “Who the &#%#^ am I…Judge Wapner? Who the hell crowned me king of baggage claim?”

Thank god the pregnant lady stomped off, because otherwise I was CERTAIN I was going to be in for a real-live American Gladiators battle. Fury vs. Helga.