Tri swimming

In order to do a triathlon…one really SHOULD be able to swim. Since swimming comes first, it offers a life-threatening beginning to what would otherwise be just a workout. I am happy to report, however, that with the completion of Saturday’s event that I have now completed one race in a row without a water rescue.

I was a little nervous since I hadn’t been in the water since 2005 (the date of the aforementioned water rescue). I decided, however, that if I actually got into a pool prior to the race…I would realize how stupid this idea really was. Better to watch repeated highlights of Michael Phelps while mis-remembering some level of personal swimming competence.

Your start position for a race is generally assigned based on the estimated swim time that you include on your registration. In that way, they hope to limit the number of real swimmers who must literally swim OVER TOP of people like me. Now, I explained that this is a 350 yard swim, right? That’s a mere 7 laps in a pool. I may have been a tad conservative with my estimate of 14 minutes (!), especially with my sleek new aerodynamics (i.e., sans belly ring). The guy in front of me only had one arm and he still expected to finish in 13 minutes. It shouldn’t take me 14 minutes if I stopped for a beer in between each lap (which could not possibly make me any worse of a swimmer).

A 14 minute estimate? Hello contestant # 268! Which means 267 people started ahead of me and eleven people started behind me. Last before I even begin. I didn’t start the race until…oh…the day’s temperature had time to break 100 degrees. And what did those 11 people behind me put as an estimate...a week from Tuesday?

One thing about the swim portion of a triathlon race…tempers tend to flare when you are 1) racing after investing $7,000 in your bike 2) hostile to contestant # 268’s use of the doggy paddle as a legitimate swim stroke and 3) piled up like lemmings because of said doggy paddler…all while struggling to breathe normally. Let’s be honest…I have been at the epicenter of more multi-athlete pile-ups than I care to admit. All while yelling “didn’t anyone teach you the 3 second rule!?!?” – which tends to make me very popular with the other racers.

Remind me again why do I do these races. Oh yeah, because they’re fun. =)