What's that cologne you're wearing?

I'm traveling for work (a bit of a shocker, I agree) and have brought along the travel-sized perfumes that Santa dropped into my stocking at Xmas. Seriously…last week, I am visiting the office in Memphis - where I have never been before - and am eager to make a good impression. I think a little squirt of the stocking-stuffed 2 oz bottle of CK Obsession is in order.

Except....the ionizer on this itty-bitty little bottle should require the nuclear launch codes to operate. As in...“please-enter-the-paint-booth-for-your-final-layer-of-clear-coat” turbo-charged ionizer. Honest-to-god…no warning, no training wheels, no nothing - just the complete emptying of what must have been the whole 2 ounces of perfume...right onto my buttoned down neckline. Not ready for that. At this point – I’m already late to the office – so I can’t do anything about it. Let’s just hope the Memphis office appreciates “an enthralling blend of florals and spice.”

• On the panicked drive to the office, I tried to wipe off some of the overapplied perfume with whatever I could find. Bad news…one stray Subway Sandwich napkin was all the car had to offer. I didn't so much wipe the perfume OFF, as I wiped the smell of condiments ON. [CK has an Obsession with spicy mustard.]
• I can't even take MYSELF seriously wearing this much perfume. I feel like I should introduce my scent when I get to the office. Hello - I'm your Vice President of Perfume, and I'm glad to meet you.
• Whenever you can taste your own perfume...for hours... you dread the meeting in the unusually small conference room.
• I must have asked my host three times if he had a cold before I realized his eyes were watering because.of.my.perfume.
• Given that this is the same shirt I wore home for Christmas, the smell of CK Obsession is doing battle with the aroma of Winston Reds.
• I may be in Philly this week – but my perfume is still in Memphis =) Those poor bastards are STILL dealing with the [nuclear] fallout of my visit.