Liberace's Musuem

The Liberace museum is billed as the best $15 you will spend in Vegas. I could not agree more. [And consider that this recommendation is coming from someone who last veered from her earth-tone course in 1994.] It was beguiling, bewitching, bedazzling. The overall organizational strategy of the pink, rhinestoned museum seemed geared toward making you say “Oh no, HE’s not gay” at least every 10 feet. Sparkling stars & striped hotpants? Gay. Swaroski crystal bejeweled convertible? Gay. Ruby-encrusted piano ring from his mother? Seriously. [We’re talking Johnny Weir territory.]

Our Docent (Bette) was one of several middle-aged groupies/museum volunteers that had it bad for the big L. We’ll call them the Liberace-ina’s. She used to work as a consultant for IBM before dedicating herself to the spangle and the glitz. She was so enthusiastic about her work at the not-for-profit museum, that I now thought less of those who merely helped the poor. Liberace Docent is JUST a higher calling.

The big draw of the museum was his wardrobe. As our Docent highlighted how he had his outfits made to match his pianos, I felt a little sheepish about my brown loafer/black sweater combo. (I sooooooo could have been Liberace’s Eliza Doolittle.) Liberace even had a full-time furrier. [Apparently, Liberace was the genesis for PETA.] Honestly, no member of the animal kingdom was safe from L’s fur fetish – turkey feathers, chinchilla, llama fur (who the hell knew llama fur made such a stylish lapel?) The best part…as we’re walking away from the “Midnight” ensemble, the Docent casually remarks that it is “made of upside-down monkey furandnow, we’ll move on to this magnificent Easter outfit.” [Why! Is it made out of the Easter bunny himself?!] We were all stunned stupid by the complete throw-away line, trying to figure why the poor monkeys had to be upside down when they were skinned silly.

As Bette worked her Docent magic, however, you actually bought into the concept that Liberace must have been “a terribly strong man because he could perform in a 210 lb pink-ostrich-feathered cape.” [Oh yes, he was Atlas under that chinchilla fur. What ARE the cape-wearing muscles again?]

In the tour-ending documentary, we found out that he even had a spangle-clad protégé that has carried on the Liberace magic [“protégé” apparently being French for “lover”]. And I don’t want to ruin Rita’s birthday surprise, but he IS available for special celebrations.