Spin Cycle

I have never failed at anything as spectacularly as I have failed at the PureRide spinning class in Mississippi.  I have done spinning in the past – but not like this. 

 

First – the bike actually tilts:

 

I feel this is a basic violation of trust.  I mean they are called stationary bikes for a reason.   The bike’s natural tendency is to rock back and forth like that the 25 cent kiddie ride outside the K-mart when you were 4.  It was a treat when you were 4 – punishment at 44.  Keeping it from rocking uncontrollably requires the forceful use of a unique set of muscles.  Muscles that are used for nothing else.  Except maybe bullriding.  That’s what I’m looking for - muscle work for Tuesday morning spin class and bullriding.  IMHO, you should have to pedal or hold the bike steady, not both.  

Second – the class is in Oxford MS.  The people taking spin class in Oxford MS are there to go to school at Ole Miss.  So you are in class with a masochistic bike and a bunch of taut twenty-year-olds.  Bad combination, bad idea.  I am easily a generation older than the rest of the class – and I fear those bitches are trying to kill me.  Look – I’m not the one who started calling you millennials – take it out on your parents, not the old lady in the back of the spin class.  I think they keep turning down the music to make sure I’m still breathing.  And if one more instructor tells me to “go at my own speed”, I’m going to rock this bike, alright.  

But I do think the kids are in awe of my bike shorts.  No one would wear something that unflattering if they weren’t a force to be reckoned with – right?