Church Camp

This is the post before the Host – since Church Camp isn’t until next weekend. But we have officially signed up to attend the St. A’s annual church camp retreat and that is worth a blog post of its own.

I don’t know what is more surprising about the 18 months since our move to Nashville – that Rita got a brain tumor or we’re preparing to attend church camp.  Don’t know about Rita, but I'm going to start dodging lightning strikes.

In all her sincere enthusiasm for our upcoming attendance of the St. A’s church camp, I’m not sure Rita realizes that this is going to include church and camp.  I predict we bring our own wine.  And vegetables.  And sheets.  And magazines to read while others are praying.  In fact, we may just bring a bible to the closest Four Seasons and call it a day.

A few things worth noting:

• Ummmmmmm, will we be the ONLY people without children on the trip?  This isn’t just the church people’s elaborate effort to widen the babysitting circle, is it?  Let’s not tell anyone we’re talking about our cats and we can fit in better.  [Of course, we’re lesbians, so people expect us to talk about our pets as children.] 
• Thankfully, there are several events that include “…..and cocktails”.  Otherwise known as liquor with the vicar.  See…Episcopalians really are like Catholics, sans the crazytown clerical celibacy, of course. 
• I don’t want to (generously) say that our group of church camp peers are middle aged, but the weekend’s "physical activity" is…..kickball.  Did we decide darts was too taxing?
• Do Episcopals have excommunication?  If so, exactly what are the terms?  Asking for a friend.
• Most of Rita’s and my preparation has focused on which cocktails we’re going to bring.  Somehow I think our preparatory contemplation is supposed to be deeper than the best Old Fashioned recipe we can find. 
• Is saying “For Fucks’ Sake, bless her heart” an acceptable compromise on Rita’s cussing?  I worry.

I can’t wait to see what we have to say AFTER we go to Church Camp.