Thursday, July 9, 2020

Cinderella

I know the doctor told Rita and me that she couldn’t put any weight on her ankle for four weeks after her recent ankle surgery, but I somehow failed to realize how much weight that ankle has been carrying.  I don’t think I appreciated that [as someone has been telling me for some time now]….this house does not…as it turns out…actually run itself.  I think this is Rita’s payback for that month of self-quarantining I did in the chore-free zone of the basement [see post here http://savemethecall.blogspot.com/2020/04/upstairsdownstairs.html]

If anyone wants an action shot of me trying to maintain the house, here you go:

 

There are a few things I have yet to figure out: 

  • If anyone knows how to fold a fitted sheet, would you please post the youtube video here?  We can invent things like a selfie-stick but not a sheet that is actually foldable? We are focusing on the wrong things, sheeple.
  • WHERE do all these dirty dishes come from?  I’m going to quit feeling guilty about not going to the gym because my new core workout consists of the sink-to-dishwasher pivot that seems to happen 300 times a day. 
  • The outside plants have to be watered EVERY SINGLE DAY?  That seems needy, doesn’t it?   Also – with the heat, there is apparently a “right time” to water the plants.  And that is NOT when it is convenient.    
  • There appears to be a caste system of olive oil that I have yet to decode.  Wait – this one is for cooking and this one is only for salads?  Don’t you just eat both of them? 
  • There is a right way and a wrong way to make tea.  I thought I had learned that a long time ago from my mom. But the definition of “a proper cup of tea” for an Irish mother appears very, very different from that of an energy-healing shaman.  So confusing.

And that is just one week in.  Imagine me at the end of a month.

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