Smooth Operator

For those of you who don’t know, Rita went under the knife about two weeks ago to repair every tendon in her ankle.  I mean...if you're going to be confined to your house anyway - might as well have a bionic ankle on the other side of it.

Operating a surgery center [see what I did there] during Covid cannot be easy.  But at least wearing a mask in medical setting should be non-controversial, right?  There does...however...seem to be some confusion on exactly how you are supposed to wear your mask.  The aide that processed Rita’s appointment had a one-size-fits-most mask that decidedly unfit her and was therefore on a constant march down her face the entire session.  I don’t think I’m supposed to be able lip-read the instructions you give during Covid.  I’m no scientist, but once the mask is no longer between your mouth and the world, I think the benefits are diminished.  Wait – you are a surgical aide and I am an accountant.  Why am I the one wearing my mask properly?  

Initially, they told Rita she wouldn’t need a Covid test before surgery.  Then three days before her appointment, they called her and said “On second thought, because of your age, let’s go ahead and get that Covid test after all.”  That face mask might muzzle the patient’s voice, but I bet y’all can still make out the cuss words in that response.   

As noted in the previous post, the surgery center did not allow loved ones into the waiting room.  No matter how devoted they were to their spouse.  Instead, the surgery center texted the loved one with notifications of the progress:

• The patient has now entered the Operating Room and is being prepared for surgery. 
• The surgery will begin soon.
• The patient is out of surgery.

It was a little like watching the progress of your pizza order on GrubHub.  “Your pizza…I mean your patient…will be arriving soon.  Please be waiting outside for the transfer.”

When I arrived back at the surgery center to pick up the pizza, the parking garage was full of loved ones presumably waiting for their own pizza to arrive.  Two old boys had brought their lawn chairs and set them up in the bed of their respective trucks, hanging out waiting on the event to start.  One of them might have brought a six pack of beer and invited others to his tailgate party.   

Rita is going to be sorry she missed the only tailgating party we're likely to see in 2020.