Much to my disappointment, I don’t have a thing to write about the McFamily reunion (under threat of excommunication, I don’t have anything to write. Although I don’t think excommunication in the McConville clan means they don’t talk to you…I think it just means they don’t stock your beer anymore). Actually, there was some pretty blog-worthy banter, but it all seemed to be at my expense…and THAT ain’t no fun to write about [Really? One of those crazy dog women? It was the mother’s day card for “nana”, wasn’t it?? Just the fact that my dog has a “nana”, I see.] I DID note that somewhere along the way (2004?), I have CLEARLY worn out that “my presence is my present” thing…I.GET.IT already, sheeesh.
But between free graduation dinners and free mother’s day’s breakfasts…the price was right. Aside from that private hotel room for Molly, I spent like…ZILCH…awesome. Let me know when we are getting together for mom’s birthday. Well, except…of course…I DID spend that $200 dollars on your present, Mom (I mean…those hummingbird feeders aren’t as cheap as they look…especially as cheap as THAT one looks.)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
On the road again
Know what is even more fun than driving seven hours? Across Kentucky? With your dog? Tracking a rainstorm for seven.hours, across.Kentucky, with.your.dog – THAT’S what. That must mean its time for the annual pilgrimage to the Ft. Wayne home of my comment-giving sister!! When asked if she could have picked a MORE inconvenient place to live, my sister simply replied “San Diego?” ohhhh….its going to be THAT kind of weekend, is it? =) Hee.
But my dog could NOT have been better for the seven-hour drive. She slept every minute door-to-door for seven hours [have I mentioned that it’s a seven-hour drive?], waking only to bark at the baristas during our four trips to Starbucks….NONE of which happened to be in Kentucky as they have something against all non-truckstop coffee (AND cell phone coverage). But just because Molly slept doesn’t mean her breath did. I don’t know what small animal crawled into my dog’s palate and died there, but after being confined in a vehicle with her for seven hours, the paint peeled off my toenails like it was being pressure-washed. She yawned somewhere near Louisville and my car shifted gears. [Good thing she doesn’t read this blog or I would have had to hang a smiley face off the end of that last sentence.]
By the way…do you know how long a tank of gas lasts in the Nissan? Six hours and fifty minutes, THAT’S how long.
But it was all smiles when we finally arrived…Anne Louise had the fridge out in the garage all stocked (why do all the McConville’s have a fridge out in the garage?), there was a guest basket in my room and mints on the pillows. Apparently, we are all trying to out-Nicola one another. And my always-on-a-diet puppy ESPECIALLY liked the trough-sized bowl of dog food that was set out for their apparently self-controlled Labrador. Well….she enjoyed it right up until she ate herself into a freakin’ coma (I was distracted by the garage fridge).
Wonder if Nicola will take Molly back to Nashville with HER on Sunday?
But my dog could NOT have been better for the seven-hour drive. She slept every minute door-to-door for seven hours [have I mentioned that it’s a seven-hour drive?], waking only to bark at the baristas during our four trips to Starbucks….NONE of which happened to be in Kentucky as they have something against all non-truckstop coffee (AND cell phone coverage). But just because Molly slept doesn’t mean her breath did. I don’t know what small animal crawled into my dog’s palate and died there, but after being confined in a vehicle with her for seven hours, the paint peeled off my toenails like it was being pressure-washed. She yawned somewhere near Louisville and my car shifted gears. [Good thing she doesn’t read this blog or I would have had to hang a smiley face off the end of that last sentence.]
By the way…do you know how long a tank of gas lasts in the Nissan? Six hours and fifty minutes, THAT’S how long.
But it was all smiles when we finally arrived…Anne Louise had the fridge out in the garage all stocked (why do all the McConville’s have a fridge out in the garage?), there was a guest basket in my room and mints on the pillows. Apparently, we are all trying to out-Nicola one another. And my always-on-a-diet puppy ESPECIALLY liked the trough-sized bowl of dog food that was set out for their apparently self-controlled Labrador. Well….she enjoyed it right up until she ate herself into a freakin’ coma (I was distracted by the garage fridge).
Wonder if Nicola will take Molly back to Nashville with HER on Sunday?
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Family reunion
Okay – I know there’s been a dearth of good blog topics here lately, but this weekend is going to be what I like to call a “target-rich environment”. The whole McFamily is getting together in Indianapolis – even the ones we don’t like. That’s right…it’s a Graduation/Mother’s Day/Birthday extravaganza. McMardis Gras. Put every member of the McFamily together and watch the sparks fly. Otherwise known as “my adolescence” =)) [double smiley face everyone].
See…we seem to avoid the worst of the drama when not EVERYONE is together. It’s like a familial version of the Horcruxes…lethal when all are united….they-who-must-not-be-assembled. Better that at least ONE sibling is missing…doesn’t even matter which one – although we all have our favorites. It’s as if the tension of not having anyone’s back to talk behind forces the whole dynamic off-kilter. Throw in a smattering of non-smoking hotel rooms, this offensive blog and a plethora of holidays that give everyone an opportunity to feel slighted and we are talking Britney Spears/Dr. Phil territory. Nothing says “we’re proud of you, Michal” like two aunts throwing punches in the hotel lobby. =) Smackdown in Indianapolis. By Sunday it’ll be time for a “family meeting”.
Hee. And if anyone does not know that I am completely kidding…than they do NOT know how hard Nicola can bicycle kick…
See…we seem to avoid the worst of the drama when not EVERYONE is together. It’s like a familial version of the Horcruxes…lethal when all are united….they-who-must-not-be-assembled. Better that at least ONE sibling is missing…doesn’t even matter which one – although we all have our favorites. It’s as if the tension of not having anyone’s back to talk behind forces the whole dynamic off-kilter. Throw in a smattering of non-smoking hotel rooms, this offensive blog and a plethora of holidays that give everyone an opportunity to feel slighted and we are talking Britney Spears/Dr. Phil territory. Nothing says “we’re proud of you, Michal” like two aunts throwing punches in the hotel lobby. =) Smackdown in Indianapolis. By Sunday it’ll be time for a “family meeting”.
Hee. And if anyone does not know that I am completely kidding…than they do NOT know how hard Nicola can bicycle kick…
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Exit strategy
Okay, how the HELL do I get out of this daily blog??? Seriously. 41 (!) posts later…I feel like Donald Rumsfeld…I mean…WHAT is the exit strategy??? (nothing like a little neo-con metaphor to set the right tone). It’s the equivalent of a part-time job…for a high school newspaper. I have seriously considered several solutions to achieve shut-down or make this blog financially viable:
- Outsource this thing to India. I mean…what’s an extra $1.35 in expense a day??? I give more to Sally Struthers. But then I realized my humor doesn’t exactly translate (“Riyadh Rockettes” in Hindu doesn’t mean nothing but trouble)
- TRY selling all of your email addresses (didn’t know the blog logged such things, now didja?). But apparently….the internet is SATURATED with all of your email addresses ALREADY. Thanks a freakin’ lot. (How much internet shopping do you people do??) Now the email addresses of my Brazilian travel mates – THOSE I have made….I mean I COULD make….some serious money off of!!!
- Sell advertising on this thing. …but 8 hits off of mostly-McConville-named visitors does NOT make a very persuasive sales pitch. I guess the Irish-Catholic-albino demographic is not what it used to be...there’s only so many lite beer/suntan lotion advertisers out there.
- Just write a couple of lousy posts in a row and that should take care of it…what? I’ve already done that and Rita’s the only one reading this thing anyway?
I figure the inevitable exit strategy will involve some HUGE blow-up in the McConville clan…The savemethecall blog will just flame out in a barrage of restraining orders…just like the last one =)
Monday, May 5, 2008
Lean Cuisine
Someone recently asked me if I can blog about anything. Well, anything that isn’t likely to piss of a member of my family...sure. I didn’t say it would be funny, just that I could…in fact…blog about just about anything. Which brings us to Lean Cuisines.
See…everyone should have a signature dish…MINE is Lean Cuisine – specifically, the chicken pannini sandwiches. Mmm, mmm. I especially like the southwest chicken club because I think the little SPLASH of color from the faux veggies really classes it up.
Seriously, so delicious and only.300.calories. I can eat three of ‘em for lunch, no problems. And they come in the PERFECT square box…imminently stackable. You can easily get…like…forty-three of ‘em in one grocery cart (trust me). Well, assuming the three cases of Diet Coke are not already in there. I can stack all 43 of ‘em in my freezer, too…like a low-calorie fortress around the cookie dough ice cream.
And while some people may balk at the 540 mg of sodium…I do not hesitate to add just a little more salt before eating. And not just ANY salt, either – but that big, chunky sea salt from the ingredients cupboard =) Mmmmm. The perfect little vessel for salt.
And THAT, my friends, is the Lean Cuisine blog. Tune in tomorrow when I blog about the farm bill.
See…everyone should have a signature dish…MINE is Lean Cuisine – specifically, the chicken pannini sandwiches. Mmm, mmm. I especially like the southwest chicken club because I think the little SPLASH of color from the faux veggies really classes it up.
Seriously, so delicious and only.300.calories. I can eat three of ‘em for lunch, no problems. And they come in the PERFECT square box…imminently stackable. You can easily get…like…forty-three of ‘em in one grocery cart (trust me). Well, assuming the three cases of Diet Coke are not already in there. I can stack all 43 of ‘em in my freezer, too…like a low-calorie fortress around the cookie dough ice cream.
And while some people may balk at the 540 mg of sodium…I do not hesitate to add just a little more salt before eating. And not just ANY salt, either – but that big, chunky sea salt from the ingredients cupboard =) Mmmmm. The perfect little vessel for salt.
And THAT, my friends, is the Lean Cuisine blog. Tune in tomorrow when I blog about the farm bill.
Friday, May 2, 2008
is it the weekend yet?
It MUST be the weekend already...cuz i got nothing to post for today =) plenty of air travel this weekend though...so i am sure things will be looking up by Monday.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Annual Physical
I went to my “annual” physical yesterday (annual in title only). Not to worry, it was only a routine checkup. I hear that’s what you do when you start getting older and I have always been a bit of a prodigy =) [again…comment functionality is disabled] Actually, I thought it might be nice to actually HAVE a GP so I didn’t have to always steal Amy & Emily’s prescription pads. =) =) [double smiley face]
First of all, why does EVERY.single.person in a doctor’s office get to wear scrubs? Listen lady, you and I do the EXACTLY the same job – why do you get to wear the World of Disney pajamas to work while I have to sit at home and work in my… oh, nevermind. (Seriously…why does ANYONE get to wear the World of Disney scrubs to work?)
There isn’t really all that much to a physical…get weighed, get grouchy, get blood taken. The nurse did take my vital signs and they turned out to be…well…not so vital. Seems that I have a resting heart rate of 43. Now, I don’t even…like…watch ER, so I don’t know what that means – but the doctor DID exclaim ”WOW – 43! That’s like professional-athlete low. Did you used to be a professional athlete???” ummm.….am I being Punk’d? Turns out I have the biology of a professional athlete even if I have the habits of a professional twinkie-eater. Sorry doc, those 9-minute milers [I wish] aren’t making the pros like they used to and no.I.don’t.play.basketball. No wonder I never have any trouble sleeping…turns out....I’m barely awake.
First of all, why does EVERY.single.person in a doctor’s office get to wear scrubs? Listen lady, you and I do the EXACTLY the same job – why do you get to wear the World of Disney pajamas to work while I have to sit at home and work in my… oh, nevermind. (Seriously…why does ANYONE get to wear the World of Disney scrubs to work?)
There isn’t really all that much to a physical…get weighed, get grouchy, get blood taken. The nurse did take my vital signs and they turned out to be…well…not so vital. Seems that I have a resting heart rate of 43. Now, I don’t even…like…watch ER, so I don’t know what that means – but the doctor DID exclaim ”WOW – 43! That’s like professional-athlete low. Did you used to be a professional athlete???” ummm.….am I being Punk’d? Turns out I have the biology of a professional athlete even if I have the habits of a professional twinkie-eater. Sorry doc, those 9-minute milers [I wish] aren’t making the pros like they used to and no.I.don’t.play.basketball. No wonder I never have any trouble sleeping…turns out....I’m barely awake.
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