Hamilfans

Given that the country is all cooped up this July 4^th weekend, I am betting the showing of Hamilton on Disney+ is going to have Super Bowl-like ratings. Who would have thought on Jan 1, 2020, that our shared national experience over the July 4^th weekend was going to be watching an intellectual, historically-themed Broadway musical performed by a mostly Black cast?  2020 – you are one unpredictable bitch.    

I am sure we are not the only kid-free household to pony up the $6.99 needed to start our Disney+ subscription for the occasion.  And who knew…. Disney+ comes with a free subscription to the National Geographic channel. I don’t want to say Rita is excited, but I am going to go ahead and pencil that $6.99 into the family budget for the rest of time.  My days of watching the History channel on the main TV are probably over.  

And the brand new Nat Geo channel is perfectly timed given that Rita just had ankle surgery and is spending 24 hours a day in bed where there is only so much meditation you can do.  Here I thought I we were signing up for a channel full of cartoons and instead I get a redux of the college biology class I dropped out of [for a reason].  Bedridden Rita + National Geographic channel = way more discussions than McC wanted about the world’s coral reefs.

And National Geographic is not JUST more shows telling us where our food comes from [I really thought we had mostly solved that mystery when we bought a farm].  The current lineup includes an eclectic array of programming:

•  “Wicked Tuna -All-star captains go head-to-head when tuna season opens”.  Y’all.  We can make a reality series out of fishing?  We deserve 2020.
• “The Hot Zone – A US Army scientist puts her life on the line to head off an outbreak of the Ebola virus in 1989.”  Ummmm….what’s she doing now? 
• “Doomsday Preppers” Which is exactly what you think it will be.  Based on her uncanny preparedness for Covid - I don’t think Rita needs any more inspiration on this topic. 
• “Locked Up Abroad” Who exactly is the target audience for this one?  People thinking of committing a crime overseas?  [Incidentally, judging by the volunteers who agreed to go on national television and tell their stories, you would be surprised how many foreign incarcerations are the result of being framed.]
• I also noted there are a disproportionate number of television shows about Everest on the National Geographic channel.  So many that it makes me wonder if a TV special is some sort of prize for climbing Everest.  Like…instead of getting a t-shirt when you eat that 40 oz steak, summitting Everest gets you your own TV special.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the basement clandestinely watching Dumbo. 

Smooth Operator

For those of you who don’t know, Rita went under the knife about two weeks ago to repair every tendon in her ankle.  I mean...if you're going to be confined to your house anyway - might as well have a bionic ankle on the other side of it.

Operating a surgery center [see what I did there] during Covid cannot be easy.  But at least wearing a mask in medical setting should be non-controversial, right?  There does...however...seem to be some confusion on exactly how you are supposed to wear your mask.  The aide that processed Rita’s appointment had a one-size-fits-most mask that decidedly unfit her and was therefore on a constant march down her face the entire session.  I don’t think I’m supposed to be able lip-read the instructions you give during Covid.  I’m no scientist, but once the mask is no longer between your mouth and the world, I think the benefits are diminished.  Wait – you are a surgical aide and I am an accountant.  Why am I the one wearing my mask properly?  

Initially, they told Rita she wouldn’t need a Covid test before surgery.  Then three days before her appointment, they called her and said “On second thought, because of your age, let’s go ahead and get that Covid test after all.”  That face mask might muzzle the patient’s voice, but I bet y’all can still make out the cuss words in that response.   

As noted in the previous post, the surgery center did not allow loved ones into the waiting room.  No matter how devoted they were to their spouse.  Instead, the surgery center texted the loved one with notifications of the progress:

• The patient has now entered the Operating Room and is being prepared for surgery. 
• The surgery will begin soon.
• The patient is out of surgery.

It was a little like watching the progress of your pizza order on GrubHub.  “Your pizza…I mean your patient…will be arriving soon.  Please be waiting outside for the transfer.”

When I arrived back at the surgery center to pick up the pizza, the parking garage was full of loved ones presumably waiting for their own pizza to arrive.  Two old boys had brought their lawn chairs and set them up in the bed of their respective trucks, hanging out waiting on the event to start.  One of them might have brought a six pack of beer and invited others to his tailgate party.   

Rita is going to be sorry she missed the only tailgating party we're likely to see in 2020.