Showertime

Since her stroke impaired her vision and balance, mom's bath-time has become a lot more challenging for her.  Since she moved in with my sister Nic, she now requires assistance to safely execute a shower and avoid any new mishaps.  And I’ve noticed a few things about mom’s showertime:

• My sister Nic is smart enough to keep shower days on a rotating schedule so you are never sure whether the Tuesday you’re planning to visit is an amphibious-duty day or not.
• It is unimaginable to me how so much water ends up outside the shower.  Certainly some of it should go down the drain – right?  Mom’s shower time is a complete twofer for her and the caregiver involved (as long as the caregiver is me, of course).  The dog is probably wondering when the ark is going to come along.
• The shower seems to reflect a double standard.  Her kids hover like helicopter parents if she tries to make herself a cup of tea.  But when it’s time for her to take a shower – independence rules the day.  Note to my future self: nakedness = caregiver distance. 
• The first time I “helped” with a shower (I use the term loosely) I mistakenly thought the transfer- bench was there to sit on.  Turns out it’s like a launching pad for mom's gymnastics routine.  She gets in that shower, stands up and my otherwise sedentary mother starts twirling like Dorothy Hammill in her heyday.  Honestly – the woman broke her arm walking to her chair.  But give her water and a slick bathtub surface and she can practically execute a double Lutz.
• Speaking of the transfer bench, 70+ years at getting out of the tub a certain way is tough to undo.  It has not once occurred to my mother to use the bench to exit the tub.  It doesn’t matter that you are telling her to sit down, she is still going to try to grapple her way over the lip of the tub (even though the task has been made decidedly more difficult by the bench that is in the way).  As designated shower-watcher, I have one job to do and yet there she is straddling the wall of the tub as my sister walks by to check on us. 

But mostly what I’ve learned from trying to help my mom with her showers is that being clean is overrated.