Five hours til we leave for Rio…five more hours, twelve more drinks, 42 more calls from the office (well, not in that order)…and its vacation! Some people got a little snippy about yesterday’s “unreliable service”, so I thought I would sneak one more post in before I left.
Otherwise, this blog is on vacation until 3/31…I’ll be tan in the next blog. Until then, just talk amongst yourselves (and please take all collect calls that could be ransom demands).
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
my brother's visit
So my brother and his family were in Nashville this past weekend with mom. The whole brood came down and stayed at The Hotel Nicola - as opposed to The Maeve Hostel (or hostile?). Now that my sister lives in Nashville, my family may.never.set.foot.in.my.house.again. They’re just glad I started a blog so they know I got a new kitchen. In fact, they just GUSH about how GREAT a hostess Nicola is…”She always has our favorite things – your mom’s favorite brand of tea…” [not chamomile?] “…veggie stuff for Michal…” [Michal’s a vegetarian? Since 2005…REALLY?? ] “…video games for Austin…” [which one is Austin again?]
Should I put a smiley face after that paragraph so you guys know I’m just kidding (!) and you also know that I.am.FINE.with.you.staying.with.Nicola…really =)
My brother is in an odd phase where is making everyone call him “barista” on account of his new…I mean refurbished…espresso maker. Thank God his kids take after their mother.
At one point during the weekend, my niece said “good thing your blog is funny….otherwise I would have to make fun of you”. And the unspoken end to that thought was…“like we do to my friend Tricia’s weird aunt who blogs about her cats”. She did…however…sound genuinely apologetic about having to make fun of me. I took this as a sign of affection. This is the same niece who just got a full ride to grad school. Coincidentally, my sister-in-law just got a brand new Mini-Cooper while she was here. (ummm, brother – you’re 6’4” – does it worry you that your wife bought a car you won’t fit in? Hadi Shriners, indeed.)
Ahhh, too bad I’m going.on.vacation. Otherwise, my brother is generally good for SEVERAL posts’ worth of material!
Should I put a smiley face after that paragraph so you guys know I’m just kidding (!) and you also know that I.am.FINE.with.you.staying.with.Nicola…really =)
My brother is in an odd phase where is making everyone call him “barista” on account of his new…I mean refurbished…espresso maker. Thank God his kids take after their mother.
At one point during the weekend, my niece said “good thing your blog is funny….otherwise I would have to make fun of you”. And the unspoken end to that thought was…“like we do to my friend Tricia’s weird aunt who blogs about her cats”. She did…however…sound genuinely apologetic about having to make fun of me. I took this as a sign of affection. This is the same niece who just got a full ride to grad school. Coincidentally, my sister-in-law just got a brand new Mini-Cooper while she was here. (ummm, brother – you’re 6’4” – does it worry you that your wife bought a car you won’t fit in? Hadi Shriners, indeed.)
Ahhh, too bad I’m going.on.vacation. Otherwise, my brother is generally good for SEVERAL posts’ worth of material!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Things I have noticed about having a blog...
There are some things I have realized now that I have a blog:
I am OBVIOUSLY not as busy as I thought I was.
Most of these jokes were a lot funnier when they were told over a couple of beers…
It is really kinda creepy when someone you.don’t.even.know comments on your blog. Like you go to a party and there’s this person there that on a normal night you wouldn’t even talk to – and then they wheel around and ask you about shopping in the couture section. It’s just a little icky, you know?
Accounting is EASY. Trying to make a kitchen sound funny is HARD.
You can write any offensive or stupid thing you want as long as you put a smiley face =) or a “bless her heart” at the end of it. For example, “she’s like a pig in heels, bless her heart”.
There doesn't seem to be one single thing about my job that’s funny.
This is really the crap that goes on inside my head. My life is a permanent SNL skit…but one of those skits that isn’t really all that funny.
New post = new apology. “No, I DON’T think Nicola is ahead of you in the Love Game.”; “of COURSE no one ELSE is going to think that’s true.” And mom, if you’re reading this, I would just like to apologize in advance for Thursday’s post. See….this blog SHOULD be called ‘it’s just a jooooooeyyyyyy” =)
Some people are morbidly curious about whether you’re going to blog about THEM. “Are you going to put that in your blog?!??” Listen people, there are only 8 visitors to this blog and 4 of them are named McConville, so you are NOT going to be famous or embarrassed.
I am OBVIOUSLY not as busy as I thought I was.
Most of these jokes were a lot funnier when they were told over a couple of beers…
It is really kinda creepy when someone you.don’t.even.know comments on your blog. Like you go to a party and there’s this person there that on a normal night you wouldn’t even talk to – and then they wheel around and ask you about shopping in the couture section. It’s just a little icky, you know?
Accounting is EASY. Trying to make a kitchen sound funny is HARD.
You can write any offensive or stupid thing you want as long as you put a smiley face =) or a “bless her heart” at the end of it. For example, “she’s like a pig in heels, bless her heart”.
There doesn't seem to be one single thing about my job that’s funny.
This is really the crap that goes on inside my head. My life is a permanent SNL skit…but one of those skits that isn’t really all that funny.
New post = new apology. “No, I DON’T think Nicola is ahead of you in the Love Game.”; “of COURSE no one ELSE is going to think that’s true.” And mom, if you’re reading this, I would just like to apologize in advance for Thursday’s post. See….this blog SHOULD be called ‘it’s just a jooooooeyyyyyy” =)
Some people are morbidly curious about whether you’re going to blog about THEM. “Are you going to put that in your blog?!??” Listen people, there are only 8 visitors to this blog and 4 of them are named McConville, so you are NOT going to be famous or embarrassed.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Happy St. Patrick's Day
I know it’s St. Patrick’s Day and I should write about my people…but I got nuthin’. What’s interesting is that this is actually a holy day in Ireland. They celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by going to church (that PARTICULAR Irish tradition being enough to make me feel pretty damn American today). Not that we Irish are above having a wee cocktail after church (or even before church, for that matter), but the Irish certainly aren’t going to be having any green beer no matter what holiday it is. Who put the frat boys in charge of OUR holiday? That’s like taking a day that was meant to honor our most respected American presidents and turning it into an excuse to shop… Because what is it about a somber religious holiday that makes people take the cheapest beer they can find, make it even worse by dying it green and then consume it til their skin turns the color of the Lucky Charms man …otherwise known as Maeve’s St. Patrick’s Day 1997…and ’01…and…what’s everyone doing tonight?
And since it is St. Patrick’s Day, my mother would just like to point out that a four leaf clover is NOT a shamrock. That while we’re talking about religious subjects (and I promise you that won’t be a line that you see very often on this blog) that the shamrock was used by St. P to illustrate the three parts of the holy trinity. It was NOT used by St. P to illustrate the father, the son, the holy ghost…and their dog Buster. The holy trinity…and a player to be named later. So basically…keep your rotten, stinkin token of good luck to yourself (perhaps after the famines and the wars and the poverty…ummm, the Irish shouldn’t be sooooooo quick to piss all over the good luck charms – just a thought).
All I can say is…I’ll drink my communion wine to that.
Slainte
And since it is St. Patrick’s Day, my mother would just like to point out that a four leaf clover is NOT a shamrock. That while we’re talking about religious subjects (and I promise you that won’t be a line that you see very often on this blog) that the shamrock was used by St. P to illustrate the three parts of the holy trinity. It was NOT used by St. P to illustrate the father, the son, the holy ghost…and their dog Buster. The holy trinity…and a player to be named later. So basically…keep your rotten, stinkin token of good luck to yourself (perhaps after the famines and the wars and the poverty…ummm, the Irish shouldn’t be sooooooo quick to piss all over the good luck charms – just a thought).
All I can say is…I’ll drink my communion wine to that.
Slainte
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Weekend
This blog generally takes the weekend off…because, let’s be honest….writing these things (and lord knows reading them) is really only fun when it involves playing hooky from work…
Meet you back here Monday…
Meet you back here Monday…
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Kitchen Confidential
Seeing as I am in Nashville – it seems like a good time to blog about my house. Those of you have been through my cracker jack box of a house lately have noticed a bit of a change in the kitchen over the past year…since a certain someone started coming around.
So here we go – things I’ve noticed about my kitchen lately:
First of all…it’s being used. Earlier plans to convert it into a sports den have been scuttled.
You mean BESIDES the new fridge, stove, microwave, dishwasher, toaster and butcher block table? And ummm…the light fixture which is free with every $5,000 appliance purchase at home depot? Well…there’s not really a whole lot MORE to a kitchen than that, now is there?
How can a cupboard be sooooooooooo jam-packed and there STILL be nothing to eat in the house??? What, you call these things ingredients? I mean, what is this stuff…capers, sundried tomatoes, orzo, a $14 jar of “farmhouse lemons” (whatever the hell those are) and something called forbidden rice – which SOUNDS exotic, but looks like something I just plucked off Molly’s stomach. Isn’t there a leftover sleeve of Ritz crackers hiding behind all that Williams Sonoma shit?
I now own enough chamomile tea to soothe a small country
Molly’s open treat bag does NOT go in the same cupboard as the people food…(seriously, its forbidden rice – who’s hurting who here?)
The cookbooks have moved for the first time since 1997.
You can’t find a tin of cheap Folgers coffee around here for love nor money. Your choices are a $12-a-lb Starbucks coffee (still a steal compared to farmhouse lemons) or …chamomile tea.
I need not one but two $300 knives. Obviously, these come from the couture section of Williams Sonoma.
The George Foreman grill seems to find a deeper recess of my cupboard every time I look for it. Something tells me my old buddy George is not long for this world.
Apparently, we are SERIOUS about recycling…and if I throw one more Diet Coke can in the trash – its nothing but forbidden rice for me.
So here we go – things I’ve noticed about my kitchen lately:
First of all…it’s being used. Earlier plans to convert it into a sports den have been scuttled.
You mean BESIDES the new fridge, stove, microwave, dishwasher, toaster and butcher block table? And ummm…the light fixture which is free with every $5,000 appliance purchase at home depot? Well…there’s not really a whole lot MORE to a kitchen than that, now is there?
How can a cupboard be sooooooooooo jam-packed and there STILL be nothing to eat in the house??? What, you call these things ingredients? I mean, what is this stuff…capers, sundried tomatoes, orzo, a $14 jar of “farmhouse lemons” (whatever the hell those are) and something called forbidden rice – which SOUNDS exotic, but looks like something I just plucked off Molly’s stomach. Isn’t there a leftover sleeve of Ritz crackers hiding behind all that Williams Sonoma shit?
I now own enough chamomile tea to soothe a small country
Molly’s open treat bag does NOT go in the same cupboard as the people food…(seriously, its forbidden rice – who’s hurting who here?)
The cookbooks have moved for the first time since 1997.
You can’t find a tin of cheap Folgers coffee around here for love nor money. Your choices are a $12-a-lb Starbucks coffee (still a steal compared to farmhouse lemons) or …chamomile tea.
I need not one but two $300 knives. Obviously, these come from the couture section of Williams Sonoma.
The George Foreman grill seems to find a deeper recess of my cupboard every time I look for it. Something tells me my old buddy George is not long for this world.
Apparently, we are SERIOUS about recycling…and if I throw one more Diet Coke can in the trash – its nothing but forbidden rice for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
