From Snuggies to vitriol…
Some of you may have seen the news yesterday about the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Lilly Ledbetter spent 19 years working at the Goodyear plant in Gadsden Alabama as a supervisor. Just before she retired, she found out that for those 19 years, she had been paid less than her male counterparts – even the ones with much less experience (and we're not talking 1962 - this case was from 2002!).
The lower courts decided that Goodyear was guilty [even if the plant IS in Alabama], but the Supreme Court threw out Ledbetter’s case, ruling that she should have filed her suit within 180 days of the first time she was discriminated against [i.e., she was a little tardy hacking into the payroll records].
19 years? The first thing I thought of was that her HR department can sure keep a secret better than any HR department I have ever worked with. The second thing I thought of was…who in the world at Goodyear made the decision to fight this, with all of its boffo publicity? Perhaps Goodyear should’ve just paid the $300k penalty?? “Congratulations on your Supreme Court victory [ummmm, remind me never to buy Goodyear tires again, would you?].”
So yesterday the President signed a law that wrote that nonsense off the books and gave people 180 days from the last act of discrimination to file a claim. Seems pretty reasonable.
But only FIVE Republican Senators voted in favor of it…four women and Arlen Specter. Seriously? Are those other 34 Senators married to a potted plant? How exactly did they explain their vote to their wife????
--We think women already make too much money
--I ran for office on a law and order platform and insist on seeing lawbreakers appropriately punished. Oh…wait a minute here….
--If you don’t stand up and cause trouble when you are brand-spanking new during the first six months on a new job, than I can't help you.
Apparently, these senators do not know any of the women I work with, live with, am related to….ummm these senators don’t know any women, do they?? So what would the Republicans who voted against this bill have in place? As long as you don’t get caught discriminating against someone in the first six months – you are grandfathered in! Nice. So let me just get this straight…we don’t want amnesty for law-abiding “undocumenteds”, but we are okay with amnesty for law-breaking discriminators. Just sayin'
Now back to my Snuggie.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Snuggies
Has everyone seen the “Snuggie” made famous by the late night infommercial? I’ll try to embed it here in the blog – not sure it will work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqHSIiAXdSU
It is one of the “AS SEEN ON TV” specials offered on late-night TV or at your local Walgreen’s. [What is this – the 1960’s? How much of a pedigree is the “as-seen-on-tv” tag line?? Ronco as a luxury brand.] Anyway…the Snuggie is essentially a wear-able blanket. A blanket with arms. Honest to god. Like…if your bathrobe is too form fitting – THIS may be the answer for you.
Anyway…some friends were over for dinner Monday night (some friends who apparently don’t want to be asked back) when they asked me if I had seen this particular late-night commercial because…"it made us think of you". Ummmm…Oh. No. You. Did-ent. “Made us think of you”…like a pig in a blanket? Like the rest of my mumu-based wardrobe??? What are you saying? Oh…I see…because the commercial shows people wearing it at a football game. Got it. They show CHEERLEADERS at a football game too, y’know. Funny how THAT doesn’t make you think of me.
It does seem like the PERFECT gift:
- When $20 is just TOO much to pay for an outer-layer
- For all your square-sized friends
- When you just want to say the word “snuggie” [Boss’s Day, perhaps?]
- For that occasion when pajamas are a little too dressy
- When a zipper seems daunting
Well, gotta run – this thing is NOT easy to type in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqHSIiAXdSU
It is one of the “AS SEEN ON TV” specials offered on late-night TV or at your local Walgreen’s. [What is this – the 1960’s? How much of a pedigree is the “as-seen-on-tv” tag line?? Ronco as a luxury brand.] Anyway…the Snuggie is essentially a wear-able blanket. A blanket with arms. Honest to god. Like…if your bathrobe is too form fitting – THIS may be the answer for you.
Anyway…some friends were over for dinner Monday night (some friends who apparently don’t want to be asked back) when they asked me if I had seen this particular late-night commercial because…"it made us think of you". Ummmm…Oh. No. You. Did-ent. “Made us think of you”…like a pig in a blanket? Like the rest of my mumu-based wardrobe??? What are you saying? Oh…I see…because the commercial shows people wearing it at a football game. Got it. They show CHEERLEADERS at a football game too, y’know. Funny how THAT doesn’t make you think of me.
It does seem like the PERFECT gift:
- When $20 is just TOO much to pay for an outer-layer
- For all your square-sized friends
- When you just want to say the word “snuggie” [Boss’s Day, perhaps?]
- For that occasion when pajamas are a little too dressy
- When a zipper seems daunting
Well, gotta run – this thing is NOT easy to type in.
Molly's Xmas Sweater
I am trying not to read too much into the fact that so many of my recent posts are about my dog. I am able to rationalize that it’s because she can’t comment back and NOT because my dog = my life [not that there’s anything wrong with that, Phoebe, Jasper, Cyrus, Cricket, Capo’s moms].
I actually HAVE to blog about my dog now because I have officially fallen into that category of people who-buy-clothes-for-their-dogs. (there is an alarmingly high correlation between clothes-buying dog owners and blog authors…but I digress). You see, in a somewhat vain attempt to keep the dog hair around the house to a thin layer, Molly gets shaved within an inch of her life about every 3 weeks. Every time she grows enough hair so as to effect a decent sunblock, we march her down to the hair salon to get a buzz-cut…we pay extra for the “ultrasuede” length.
I worry that she may get cold when the wind chill here in SD drops into the 50’s. So I THOUGHT I would get Molly a little festive Christmas sweater that she could wear while chasing the mailman on her walks around the neighborhood. But in my nothing’s-too-good-for-MY-dog efforts, I could ONLY find the following.
I actually HAVE to blog about my dog now because I have officially fallen into that category of people who-buy-clothes-for-their-dogs. (there is an alarmingly high correlation between clothes-buying dog owners and blog authors…but I digress). You see, in a somewhat vain attempt to keep the dog hair around the house to a thin layer, Molly gets shaved within an inch of her life about every 3 weeks. Every time she grows enough hair so as to effect a decent sunblock, we march her down to the hair salon to get a buzz-cut…we pay extra for the “ultrasuede” length.
I worry that she may get cold when the wind chill here in SD drops into the 50’s. So I THOUGHT I would get Molly a little festive Christmas sweater that she could wear while chasing the mailman on her walks around the neighborhood. But in my nothing’s-too-good-for-MY-dog efforts, I could ONLY find the following.
Ooohhhh, check out that picture – I think she’s pretty intimidating in the K-9 Special Forces garb, don’t you? The damn thing is fur-lined! She looks like one of the Village People. I made her sleep in it the first night, but then I was all disoriented when I woke up and thought the FBI were raiding the house again. If the poor thing ever has to pick up trash on the side of the highway – she’s got the wardrobe for it.
Mother of the year.
Monday, January 26, 2009
President Bush's Farewell
President Bush has had more farewell tours than Tina Turner. Honest-to-god - I think he started saying goodbye in 2006. And. I’m. Just. Glad. It’s. Over. (It really is over, isn’t it????) The President who didn’t give a single interview in the last two years (Infomercials at Fox News notwithstanding) – is suddenly sitting down with Charlie Gibson and Brian Williams and even the Crawford High Gazette. In his last week in office, he gave a final press conference AND an address to the nation. What could George W. possibly say that would change anyone’s mind about his tortured tenure? [ummmmm...no pun intended]
--"See I TOLD YOU that Enron thing could have been a heckuva a lot worse. I think recent history has clearly vindicated me on that."
--Whenever you watch W.’s speeches – if you just fill in all his awkward pauses with the words “you idiots” – then his entire presidency makes sense. It works…
“Every morning, I received a briefing on the threats to our Nation [pause]. And I vowed to do everything in my power to keep us safe [pause].”
“There is legitimate debate about many of these decisions. But there can be little debate about the results [pause].”
“I have often spoken to you about good and evil [pause]. This has made some uncomfortable. But good and evil are present in this world, and between the two there can be no compromise, [pause]”
--And in the you-can’t-make-it-up category, George W. specifically told the national press corps that “sometimes you misunderestimated me”. Now.…THAT...that's just plain truthiness. (Oh W., what WILL Stephen Colbert do without you?)
And in the final act of his image makeover, W. even drafted a note for Obama that he left in the Oval Office. Why do I KNOW there was at least one smiley face in that damn thing? =)
Y’know…we could have avoided ALL of this if we would have just given him that baseball commissioner's job in 1998. Seriously, the Pittsburgh Pirates would need a bailout, but my 401k would be intact.
--"See I TOLD YOU that Enron thing could have been a heckuva a lot worse. I think recent history has clearly vindicated me on that."
--Whenever you watch W.’s speeches – if you just fill in all his awkward pauses with the words “you idiots” – then his entire presidency makes sense. It works…
“Every morning, I received a briefing on the threats to our Nation [pause]. And I vowed to do everything in my power to keep us safe [pause].”
“There is legitimate debate about many of these decisions. But there can be little debate about the results [pause].”
“I have often spoken to you about good and evil [pause]. This has made some uncomfortable. But good and evil are present in this world, and between the two there can be no compromise, [pause]”
--And in the you-can’t-make-it-up category, George W. specifically told the national press corps that “sometimes you misunderestimated me”. Now.…THAT...that's just plain truthiness. (Oh W., what WILL Stephen Colbert do without you?)
And in the final act of his image makeover, W. even drafted a note for Obama that he left in the Oval Office. Why do I KNOW there was at least one smiley face in that damn thing? =)
Y’know…we could have avoided ALL of this if we would have just given him that baseball commissioner's job in 1998. Seriously, the Pittsburgh Pirates would need a bailout, but my 401k would be intact.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Search Engine
The whole practice of accessing SaveMeTheCall from a search engine makes me more than a little nervous. See…my blog is included in the google universe and anyone can access this little gem from an errant google search. The good news is that anyone who accidentally(!) loses the link to my blog can find it by google-ing SaveMeTheCall. The bad news…I have to make sure that my first and last name NEVER, EVER appear in the same post. I mean…it’s one thing if I put Ann McConville’s name in the blog and all my SISTER’S co-workers find out all this crap about her crazy family [sorry sis] but…back-to-me…it’s Another. Thing. Entirely if MY google legacy becomes linked to stories of me walking into plate glass windows.
Of course…my "big-brother" tracer tells me when people access my blog from a search engine and…what key word They. Used. To. Find. Me [dude – everything about us is in a database somewhere]. So imagine my alarm…when I found more than a few poor souls stumbling across SaveMeTheCall by googling….Momofoku. That’s right…somebody [IP address 210.88.13.143] wanted to know restaurant hours or whether the place really served ONLY noodles [it’s true] and INSTEAD ended up reading a hilarious account of Hoosiers in Gotham. Well, their average stay was 11 seconds – so maybe they weren’t THAT interested in this Hoosier’s stay in the big city, but still. I haven’t noticed any return visits from Mr. NYC IP address either. (But what in the world makes you click on SaveMeTheCall as the best answer to a Momofoku google search??) But THEN I thought – uh, oh – can I be held criminally liable for something I wrote in a blog???? What the foku did I say about Momofoku??
Did I mention that my number of hits from google increases with every Momofoku reference?
And ummmmm…Sister who’s name begins with N – I hate to tell you this – but do you know anyone in New Jersey that really wants to get a hold of you?? We seem to have a New Jersey IP address that upon googling - your name + “Nashville” + my first name -has come across my little blog…and ummmm….spent 5 hours reading 151 straight posts. There’s a high school classmate out there who knows a lot more about your family than you probably intended. [this may be where I disable the comment function]
It's all fun and games til sister gets a stalker.
Of course…my "big-brother" tracer tells me when people access my blog from a search engine and…what key word They. Used. To. Find. Me [dude – everything about us is in a database somewhere]. So imagine my alarm…when I found more than a few poor souls stumbling across SaveMeTheCall by googling….Momofoku. That’s right…somebody [IP address 210.88.13.143] wanted to know restaurant hours or whether the place really served ONLY noodles [it’s true] and INSTEAD ended up reading a hilarious account of Hoosiers in Gotham. Well, their average stay was 11 seconds – so maybe they weren’t THAT interested in this Hoosier’s stay in the big city, but still. I haven’t noticed any return visits from Mr. NYC IP address either. (But what in the world makes you click on SaveMeTheCall as the best answer to a Momofoku google search??) But THEN I thought – uh, oh – can I be held criminally liable for something I wrote in a blog???? What the foku did I say about Momofoku??
Did I mention that my number of hits from google increases with every Momofoku reference?
And ummmmm…Sister who’s name begins with N – I hate to tell you this – but do you know anyone in New Jersey that really wants to get a hold of you?? We seem to have a New Jersey IP address that upon googling - your name + “Nashville” + my first name -has come across my little blog…and ummmm….spent 5 hours reading 151 straight posts. There’s a high school classmate out there who knows a lot more about your family than you probably intended. [this may be where I disable the comment function]
It's all fun and games til sister gets a stalker.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
What's that cologne you're wearing?
I'm traveling for work (a bit of a shocker, I agree) and have brought along the travel-sized perfumes that Santa dropped into my stocking at Xmas. Seriously…last week, I am visiting the office in Memphis - where I have never been before - and am eager to make a good impression. I think a little squirt of the stocking-stuffed 2 oz bottle of CK Obsession is in order.
Except....the ionizer on this itty-bitty little bottle should require the nuclear launch codes to operate. As in...“please-enter-the-paint-booth-for-your-final-layer-of-clear-coat” turbo-charged ionizer. Honest-to-god…no warning, no training wheels, no nothing - just the complete emptying of what must have been the whole 2 ounces of perfume...right onto my buttoned down neckline. Not ready for that. At this point – I’m already late to the office – so I can’t do anything about it. Let’s just hope the Memphis office appreciates “an enthralling blend of florals and spice.”
Except....the ionizer on this itty-bitty little bottle should require the nuclear launch codes to operate. As in...“please-enter-the-paint-booth-for-your-final-layer-of-clear-coat” turbo-charged ionizer. Honest-to-god…no warning, no training wheels, no nothing - just the complete emptying of what must have been the whole 2 ounces of perfume...right onto my buttoned down neckline. Not ready for that. At this point – I’m already late to the office – so I can’t do anything about it. Let’s just hope the Memphis office appreciates “an enthralling blend of florals and spice.”
- On the panicked drive to the office, I tried to wipe off some of the overapplied perfume with whatever I could find. Bad news…one stray Subway Sandwich napkin was all the car had to offer. I didn't so much wipe the perfume OFF, as I wiped the smell of condiments ON. [CK has an Obsession with spicy mustard.]
- I can't even take MYSELF seriously wearing this much perfume. I feel like I should introduce my scent when I get to the office. Hello - I'm your Vice President of Perfume, and I'm glad to meet you.
- Whenever you can taste your own perfume...for hours... you dread the meeting in the unusually small conference room.
- I must have asked my host three times if he had a cold before I realized his eyes were watering because.of.my.perfume.
- Given that this is the same shirt I wore home for Christmas, the smell of CK Obsession is doing battle with the aroma of Winston Reds.
- I may be in Philly this week – but my perfume is still in Memphis =) Those poor bastards are STILL dealing with the [nuclear] fallout of my visit.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Molly caught the mailman
Molly the wonderdog's favorite past time is chasing birds and squirrels and anything else that catches her eye [neighbors]. Usually...I don't worry too much because that dog is so slow she couldn't catch a cold. I just have to make sure I keep her in the yard because - as you may recall - I lost the battle of the invisible fence rather spectacularly. So I just have to make sure she doesn't go running after any little old ladies with schnauzers. Or ummmm, mailmen. Who may be pinned on the front porch by the ferocious fluffy white dog. Like LAST week.
That's right - poor Rita let Molly out the back door and that was that. Molly's supersonic hearing must have alerted her to the mailman on the front porch (yes - the mailmen actually WALK their routes in SD. Seriously - it's 70 degrees, why wouldn't you?) because she zealously went running after him. By the time Rita caught up with her she had the poor guy pinned against the front gate looking both scared and furious (why yes he IS african american - how did you know?). And that is when our friendly local public servant maced my puppy dog....not even 3 feet in front of Rita. Ummmmm, a) who knew mailmen REALLY carried mace around anymore [oh - it's only pepper spray?!?!? Well, screw you anyway] and b) the UPS guy carries TREATS, for god's sakes - ever tried it??
And where was I during all of this fun? On one of those famous, un-interruptible conference calls. Now...Molly and her barking already join about 75% of the conference calls I conduct from the house, but rarely do my co-workers have to conduct a conference call to the sounds of a dog-barking/rita-yelling/postman-cussing/dog-YELPING prison riot like last Wednesday. I think I actually closed the call with a "WTF" before hanging up rather abruptly.
Molly - unfazed. She ran after the schnauzer an hour later. Rita and I did try to buy off the postman with a big sloppy apology note and a $20 starbucks card [I have a surplus], but we weren't sure what the going rate was for ill-behaved puppy dogs. It must not have worked because we haven't gotten a single cooking magazine delivered in a week.
That's right - poor Rita let Molly out the back door and that was that. Molly's supersonic hearing must have alerted her to the mailman on the front porch (yes - the mailmen actually WALK their routes in SD. Seriously - it's 70 degrees, why wouldn't you?) because she zealously went running after him. By the time Rita caught up with her she had the poor guy pinned against the front gate looking both scared and furious (why yes he IS african american - how did you know?). And that is when our friendly local public servant maced my puppy dog....not even 3 feet in front of Rita. Ummmmm, a) who knew mailmen REALLY carried mace around anymore [oh - it's only pepper spray?!?!? Well, screw you anyway] and b) the UPS guy carries TREATS, for god's sakes - ever tried it??
And where was I during all of this fun? On one of those famous, un-interruptible conference calls. Now...Molly and her barking already join about 75% of the conference calls I conduct from the house, but rarely do my co-workers have to conduct a conference call to the sounds of a dog-barking/rita-yelling/postman-cussing/dog-YELPING prison riot like last Wednesday. I think I actually closed the call with a "WTF" before hanging up rather abruptly.
Molly - unfazed. She ran after the schnauzer an hour later. Rita and I did try to buy off the postman with a big sloppy apology note and a $20 starbucks card [I have a surplus], but we weren't sure what the going rate was for ill-behaved puppy dogs. It must not have worked because we haven't gotten a single cooking magazine delivered in a week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
