Tax Day 2008

Okay…how many OTHER people were tempted to celebrate tax day by having their sister break into their house, forage for a check book and write Uncle Sam a check in order to extend their tax returns? What…only me???? You mean nobody ELSE left for a business trip in March and forgot to bring their checkbook? See…you can file taxes electronically, but paying taxes electronically is a different matter. Oh sure, you could use the e-pay function of your checking account – but if I could think THAT far ahead, I probably wouldn’t be the type to forget my checkbook in the first place, now would I? Instead, I think I will jet home across the entire freakin’ country in order to send my love note to George W. in a timely manner.

And paying taxes is the only part of this process that I HAVEN’T outsourced (well, all requests to Nicola to forge my signature to the contrary). See…despite this accountant’s moniker – I’m LOUSY at taxes. Everything I know about taxes I learned from Wesley Snipes. Which should be GREAT comfort to all you McConville’s who previously had their tax returns prepared by me. (Sorry?) Not to worry though Sis – the statute of limitations has expired on all those returns…I think.

When a legitimate tax accountant prepared my 2006 return…the damn thing clocked in at 38 pages (!). Which stood in disturbing contrast to the 7 page self-prepared return from 2005. A 31 page, year-over-year increase in tax return girth cannot be good. I didn’t have a 443% increase in taxable income, that’s for sure – just a 443% increase in audit risk, apparently.

C’mon 2005 statute of limitations…